Sunday 3 April 2011

Michael Jackson immortalised..at Fulham

This story is so weird I have to right about it just to get its weirdness out of my system.


Firstly, there is the idea that MJ and Mo Al Fayed were friends. Already a bit odd. Although they do share a fetish for trashy Egyptian replica artefacts. What's stranger is the idea that a statue of Jackson has been erected at Fulham football club. Apparently Mo was originally going to put it in Harrods, but then sold Harrods. Oh, the problems of billionaires.

What I don't understand is the fans of Fulham being pissed off. Your club is owned by the guy who tried to sue the royal family for killing his son, based on some bizarre conspiracy theory involving a Peugeut. What do you expect? If putting up a statue of a dead pop star is the worst thing he does, count yourselves lucky. According to Fayed "He loved Fulham and he wanted to attend all of the matches". But only attended one. And somehow I don't think it was because he was busy working.

What was better than these criticisms, however, was Fayed's response. It matched Cameron's single great soundbite that "If the Iranians don't want to come [to the olympics], don't come - we won't miss you."
Fayed went for a verbal finger-sticking-up in the form of "If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift this guy gave to the world they can go to hell...I don't want them to be fans...If they don't understand and don't believe in things I believe in they can go to Chelsea, they can go to anywhere else."
Ever heard of "the customer is always right"?

Obviously, Fayed is sure of the statue's success: "People will queue to come and visit it from all over the UK and it is something that I and everybody else should be proud of". Judging by the crowd at the launch, who looked like they were there to see a local radio DJ open a supermarket, this seems unlikely. Also, there is a bit of an Emperor's New Clothes moment when no-one mentions it doesn't actually look that much like Michael Jackson.

To add to the heap of verbal bullshit growing around this non-story, the BBC asked some football-type people for their opinions. Brede Hangeland, a defender for Fulham (apparently) summed up the situation with the incredibly wise assertion that "Some of our players are Michael Jackson fans, some aren't, and that's the same in the general population". Saying 'no shit, Sherlock' seems too obvious. Brede followed this up by saying "We have the deepest respect for everything about the chairman. If he wants to do this then it is all good" which sounds like someone commenting on Mao at a show-trial.

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